Dealing with difficult people is completely exhausting.
Have you ever wanted to scream, throw things and tell them what you think? Silencing them would make us feel so good!
Difficult people lack care toward others. They project control and manipulation. They draw from your energy until you no longer have energy to deal with them. In order to work around them, we often become silent, get upset, or pull away and keep our distance.
Difficult exhausting controlling people have a deep need to be right. At least they project the image of never failing or never finding fault with themselves. I had an employee once who was never wrong, it was always someone else’s fault. With that attitude, she also could never learn anything new or take responsibility for her actions. Unfortunately, I had to let her go. The other employees were happier and became better workers because she was not placing blame. These types of people rarely learn that to win friends and influence people. One, must first, be a positive influence or a friend themselves toward others, instead of pointing fingers.
Dealing with difficult people is tough because they believe they must control at all costs. They show no respect to their acquaintances by being selfish and difficult. Their goals are to unbalance you. Much like a warped toy that won’t sit straight, they want people to be unsure, wobbly and unable to make strong decisions around them. This type of thinking makes them difficult and normally very defensive people; often untrustworthy.
Life becomes very stressful while trying to cope with frustrating personalities. It is extremely unsettling to show kindness to difficult people. By offering some respect instead of ignoring the behavior, sometimes works to quiet them. Leading with a spirit of cooperation also can initiate a more mutual respect between you and the selfish person. I have found that if I reach out to them a few times, in gratitude and kindness, they then will often return the favors; sometimes it works.
In our lives, however, we know those people who are consistently, blatantly trying to find ways to dismantle those who come in their path. I actually heard a mother say, “I taught my sons how to put others on the defensive before they can be put on the defensive themselves.” In plain terms, she was saying that they are to be on the offense and in attack mode most of the time. Her advise said to go into a conversation or negotiation ready for battle. (This is true because they are always ready to attack.)
We get more care and respect with honey than with bees.
We should stand up for ourselves in every situation but with grace, mercy and humility; with hope and positive action that might turn that difficult person around. Some individuals who constantly exhaust us seem to be without hope of changing. They are left out and uninvited to events. Negativity surrounds them at all turns. I have often said to negatively intense people, “Let’s try to turn that into a positive. Can we do that?” They are stunned but then they usually agree. You cannot do that with every single conversation. You’ll need more energy than your body can supply. These negative thinkers are hard work!
Finally, we have to physically separate ourselves from those who will not change; move away from those who hurt others by what they say and in the destructive way they spread rumors; they often back stab and cannot be trusted. I find that the only option left is to pray for these people. They may realize that healing a vicious hurt sometimes never happens. They cannot take back harsh words and actions. They can only strive to mend their ways. They miss out on so many good things in life pretending to be ‘right’ at all costs.
Do not be so intense and difficult that you exhaust people. You will not have friends or anyone who wants to hear from you. Those nearby will run the other way! You can be of no help to anyone when you are intensely difficult and selfish.
We deal with friends, family and business acquaintances who do not need more unhappiness, depression and negatives in their lives. They need to be lifted, respected and energized when they see you. They need to see the loving, compassionate source of life through you.
Flatter them and they will never believe you. Criticize them and they will never like you. Ignore them and they will never forgive you. Encourage them and they will never forget you.
There are two ways of spreading the light. You can be the candle or the mirror reflecting it. Edith Wharton –
As I reflect on this quote, I decided that I want to be both.
There is nothing more powerful than the consciousness of oneness with God. That is where all the Power to change anything lies. God cannot take hold until you let go. For in the easiest positions He must give me His grace, and in the most difficult, His grace is sufficient. You cannot change the life you’ve lived, but you can change the life you’re living!
There comes a time in life, when you walk away from all the drama and people who create it. You surround yourself with people who inspire you, who make you laugh, forget the bad, and focus on the good. So, love the people who treat you right, pray for the ones who don’t. Life is too short to be anything but happy. Falling down is part of LIFE, getting back up is LIVING. written by ‘an old man’
Put your frustrations to rest!
Bloom, wherever you are, in every way, every day!
Read Bloom Girl Bloom (Real Women with Real Answers) available now = Take a look – HERE
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